Hastaacha Paus By Vyankatesh Madgulkar

कधीकधी मी फार निरुत्साही होतो. खडकावर बेडके बसून राहावीत तशा लेखनकल्पना मनातच राहतात. आपण एक-एक म्हणता अनेक ओझी डोक्यावर घेऊन चालतो आहोत, अशी जाण मध्येच येते. सर्वांत प्रथम लेखन, बाकी सर्व दुय्यम. त्याच्या वाटेत येणारी कोणतीही गोष्ट घट्ट मनाने बाजूला केली पाहिजे; पण तसे सामथ्र्य नसते आणि आपणच आपल्या शक्ती नासवून टाकतो. असा विचार मनात येतो, लेखक म्हणून आजवर जे मिळवले ते मोठे आहे, असे मला मनोमनी कधी वाटत नाही. तसे वाटले असते, तरी एका परीने बरे होते. भाबड्याला मिळते ती शांतता तरी मिळाली असती. मध्येच कधी मन उसळी मारते. उडी घेऊ वाटते. काय घडेल ते खरे! At times, I find myself to be too gloomy. All the ideas about new stories remain idle in my mind, resembling an inactive toad sitting on a stone, doing nothing. Somewhere, I do get the feeling that I am carrying many single burdens over my head, and now these all have turned into a huge, heavy load. Writing is the first and foremost thing, other things are secondary. Hence, whatever tries to block the path of writing should be discarded firmly. Yet, at times, it becomes impossible. The reasons are varied. Sometimes, it is lack of competency and at other it is the thought that prevails in mind, suggesting that I myself am spoiling my strengths, for reasons unknown. Deep in my mind, I have never once felt that I have achieved great many things in the capacity of an author. Would it not have better to believe it though? At least, my mind would have been entitled to the solace that an innocent experiences! But then, this is again yet another thought. All of a sudden, my mind bounces off, wants to throw away everything and gush out. God knows, what is going to take place now!